I’ve been single for a really, really, really long time.
And now I’m not.
There were some flings and some short-lived romances, but ever since my engagement ended I’ve been living up my singlehood and loving (almost) every minute of it.
Then, earlier this summer I reunited with someone from my past.
We had always had slight crushes on each other, but we were both in relationships at the time.
Six years later we discovered that we were both single, living in the same city and things sort of fell into place (slowly, with a few bumps along the way).
I like him a lot (I really, really do), and I’m happy to move into the next stage in my life (I really, really am), but I’m struggling with the idea of losing my “single” status.
Not because I want to date other people, but because I feel like using the terms “in a relationship” or “coupled” could lead to a loss of everything I worked so hard to build up in the past three years.
During those years I never had to define who I was by who I was with, or what someone else thought of me.
I was just who I wanted to be – and my actions and feelings belonged to me and me alone.
When you’re single for long enough, you get used to hearing certain questions over and over.
“You’re still not dating anyone?!”
“So, do you want to die alone?”
“You’re cute, surely there’s someone out there that wants to date you.”
And as much as those comments might send some people running into the arms of the nearest single man they can find – I had the opposite reaction.
I loathe when people who think relationships define who we are – and that we are incomplete without them.
If you never take the time to fall in love with yourself and your life alone, you can never fully share yourself with someone else. I believe that to be 100% factual.
And I guess now I feel like I’m selling out and giving in to what everyone has wanted from me all along.
Now I’m in a relationship, so I’m no longer the “pathetic one”.
I’m no longer the third wheel.
I have a plus one.
My parents can stop wondering if maybe I don’t even like boys. (I’m pretty sure this thought has crossed their minds more than once.)
But I want to state this here: since my lack of singlehood has been stated elsewhere (ahem, Facebook)…
Even though my relationship status has changed, I have not.
I’m happy, thrilled even, to have found someone who may or may not be “the one”.
It’s been fun, exhausting and invigorating getting to know him and learning all the ways we compliment each other.
But all that would be meaningless were I not able to remain the person I have grown to love over the years.
So remain I shall.
I loved being single. It was a time of self discovery, independence, risk-taking and fun-having. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything in the world.
Now, I’m going to love being un-single because all of that cool single stuff doesn’t have to end just because I have a boyfriend, right?
What is your relationship status and why do you love it? Because there really is something to love about every situation.