I had the joy of going to lunch today wherein annoying person was present. (Annoying person will henceforth be referred to as AP.) Pet Peeve number 3 – “being good” – came up so many times I about stabbed myself with my butter knife.

Eventually, I decided to stop being so passive aggressive and voice my thoughts. I figured if people can constantly bombard me with their negative self-talk and food guilt, then I would tell them my thoughts on the matter as well. Here’s how it went down.

On the topic of what to order…

Me: I’m trying to decide between this delicious-looking salad and the cheeseburger.

AP: Oh, are you trying to be good?

Me: (blank stare) No… I just don’t know which sounds better. The salad sounds really refreshing, but a burger also sounds amazing right now.

AP: Well the salad is healthy. (Because all salads are automatically healthy I guess.)

Me: (Blank stare, eye roll) I really don’t care about that, I’m just trying to decide what sounds better.

AP: Well I was going to be good, but I’m going to get the soup and salad and I’m thinking about getting potato soup. That’s so bad.

Me: (breaking point has been reached) Food is not bad. Food is good. 

AP: You should see all the chocolate I have in my apartment right now. I’ve hidden it from myself and frozen the rest. Chocolate is so bad.

Me: I think chocolate is good.

AP: I’ll just skip dinner.

Me: (eying butter knife, dreaming of offing myself self to end this conversation)

For the record, I went with the salad. I’m slightly dehydrated from last night’s boozing and the fruits present in the salad sounded delightful to my palate. The chicken in the salad was gross though. I should have gone with the burger. I will definitely be eating a burger in the next few days now.

Later on… the conversation continues as I reach for a mint on the way out of the restaurant.

AP: I have sugar free gum in my purse if you want it. That mint is pure sugar.

Me: (vision going blurry with rage) I. Like. Sugar.

AP: Yeah well, I’m just really trying to be good.

Me: Listen, I don’t do the whole good thing. I just try not to think about it and everything usually just falls into place. I refuse to give food that much control in my life.

AP: (blank stare, uncomfortable laugh – as if what I just said was a joke) Oh.

Next time I’m going to throw my terrible pure sugar-filled mints at people. Sooner or later they’ll learn to take it elsewhere.

I’m not saying I never watch what I eat, or that I never choose a healthier option because I know it’s good for me – it’s just the way these conversations make food out to be some devilish entity trying to destroy our lives.

I just can’t get behind that kind of thinking. There are more important things to worry about and constantly hearing about it makes old habits I used to have come back into my mind. So if they’re going to wax on about “being good”, then I’m going to fire back every time. Bring it!

And on a completely unrelated note. I just learned that it’s supposed to snow in D.C. on Sunday. I most certainly had not accounted for snow in my packing situation, I guess some boots might have to be thrown into the mix? Yay boots!

Low… and Behold! by Low is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at creativecommons.org.

I’m annoying too. I annoy myself quite often. So the person I mentioned isn’t the only one who should be called out. I shall call myself out as well.

I can be really intense and awkward sometimes. I really like the feeling of relating to people on a deeper level and sometimes I force the issue. I’m sure this is really annoying.

I say “that’s why I’m single” way too often. I’m not single for any reason other than the fact that I choose to be because I’m hot and deserve only the best. That phrase is lame, and I need to stop saying it immediately.

I’m incredibly passive aggressive. When I get annoyed about something, I vent to friends about it or write angry blog posts about it rather than confronting the situation head-on. How annoying.

I’m very sensitive. It takes very little to hurt my feelings. I may not ever admit it (see: passive aggressive), but it happens quite often. Usually it’s because I feel taken advantage of or like someone is being overly selfish when I have been generous. I should either stop being generous, or stop being sensitive about it - because being both is annoying.

I take myself a little bit too seriously. The fact that I’m moving to D.C. is pretty epic for me – but it’s not epic for anyone else. I tend to forget that, and it’s annoying.

Two words: insane OCD. I can’t stand an unwiped kitchen counter, an unmade bed, clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink or rings on my glass tables. This isn’t annoying now that I live alone, but I know that people who have lived with me would say it’s probably my most annoying quality. I will follow you around with a bottle of Windex and a paper towel and wipe up every ring left on the glass table. It’s annoying, trust me.

What do you do that’s annoying? Come on, everyone is annoying. If you don’t do anything that’s annoying, then your non-annoyingness is annoying.

And… annoying no longer looks like a real word.

I don’t know why I blogged so much today, I was just in a mood I guess.

Low… and Behold! by Low is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at creativecommons.org.

In my real life, there’s a person. A single person who has managed to embody all of the things that annoy me most in this world.

This person is not a friend, but a person I am in contact with constantly.

I know it’s not this person’s fault that they cause me such immense annoyance. They don’t mean to. It’s just who they are.

But it’s slowly driving me crazy and I need to vent. So I’m going to do that, and then you guys can vent about something or someone who may be driving you crazy.

Even if that person is me, with this very post.

Pet Peeve #1: People who overload their schedule of their own volition and then expect pity for it every single day.

I understand getting overwhelmed and needing to vent occasionally, but if a person makes a decision to fill all of their waking hours with obligations – that’s on them. The entire world around them should not suffer because of it.

I don’t tolerate it and I don’t pander. You chose to do those things. You deal with it. It ain’t my problem.

Pet Peeve #2: People who think their time is more important than everyone else’s.

This goes with PP#1. I am also busy, but I choose to work me-time into my schedule. It keeps me sane. It’s how I operate and I don’t care who agrees or disagrees with it. 

I also still follow the rules, and work when I’m supposed to be working, arrive on time, and fulfill the obligations expected of me.

I live a full and productive (and yes, oftentimes very busy) life while still being courteous to others and realizing that my schedule is not the only schedule in the world.

No one, regardless of their “busy schedule” is exempt from common courtesy or doing their job.

You’re not that important. Sorry.

Oh, and if you’re going to try to convince everyone that you’re so busy you can’t do anything anyone asks you to do – then you probably should at least try to act busy instead of reading romance novels online all day.

Pet Peeve #3: Constant comparison, especially pertaining to food.

We all compare ourselves to other people, it’s natural and can’t be avoided. But who says you should be voicing those unsolicited comparisons?

If I’m eating a cookie, and you want to eat a cookie. Eat an effing cookie. Don’t tell me that you wish you could eat a cookie, but can’t because you’re “being good”.

And if you do tell me that, don’t expect me to praise you. I’ll likely give you a blank stare and get back to my cookie… or salad… or sandwich… or whatever I happen to be eating that you feel the need to comment on.

And if I’m eating a salad, or something that you deem to be “good” – I’m not doing it because I’m on a diet. I’m doing it because I happen to like both healthy and unhealthy foods and I eat them both so it all balances out in the end.

Also, I don’t give a rat’s ass what you’re eating.

Okay, maybe I do. If I’m reading your blog, or you’re offering to share.

I do read a great multitude of food blogs and I do like to comment on that food occasionally, but it definitely has nothing to do with whether or not I deem it a good or evil food, because I don’t do that.

So if you’re not blogging or offering me free food – I’m probably focused on living my life and not how “good” your lunch is.

I also don’t want to make you feel better about the fact that you ate something “bad”.

If you say to me, “I shouldn’t eat dinner tonight because I just had pizza.” I’ll probably give you the same blank stare mentioned above. A little piece of me will probably also die inside, and the chance that I’ll ever really like you will vanish.

If the annoying person ever happened to read this post, I would suggest that they try talking to me about non-annoying things.

Perhaps we could discuss college football.

Or reality TV.

The weather is always safe.

Travel is lovely.

World events will likely tickle my fancy.

But if you want to talk about how amazing you are because you’re so super busy and you didn’t have time to complete the very easy task I have given you because it’s my job to do so while giving me a diatribe about how you could never drink a milkshake because you’re on some sort of 500 calorie a day diet, just know that you will be dead to me.

Do you have any pet peeves you’d like to vent?

Am I being unreasonable? I’ve tried to ignore these feelings, but they won’t go away. I have to say I feel a lot better now