I had my first Fantasy Football draft last night! I had a pretty specific strategy - no Texas or Dallas players allowed.
Okay, that wasn’t my only strategy. I got some pretty solid picks, and of course – my main man:
Sammy Bradford! He’s just my back-up quarterback (the Rams just aren’t very good yet), but I’m excited that we’re on the same team again.
Yes, I have issues.
Not just on the obsessive football front either.
Yesterday was a killer day. It ended well, with the draft and a home cooked meal from the boyfriend, but during the day I think I accumulated about five ulcers.
First, I came face to face with just how grizzly my financial situation is.
While dealing with that, a whole bunch of other crap happened at work that I didn’t want to deal with.
I felt like I was being pulled a million directions.
On top of that, I’ve been struggling with something else I feel I should share with you all:
I’m having second thoughts about blogging.
I don’t know what to say to follow that up. I know I’m not ready to quit writing here. I love this blog and the community and awareness that writing it has given me, but something feels off.
When I started this blog, it was kind of like my therapist. I was at a point in my life where I needed the outlet, and it helped me more than I ever thought it could.
And it’s definitely not like I’m totally healed. I’ll always have my issues and drama, and I’ll probably always appreciate having a spot where I can voice my feelings about those things.
However, when I started this blog, I was 100% available to commit to writing it and I put all my heart and soul into each post.
I wrote about my hopes and dreams for the future – how I wanted to move away from Oklahoma and gain a true sense of happiness and self acceptance.
And over the years, I’ve come really close to achieving all of those things.
Now I feel like I should allow myself to enjoy that more, and not always be tethered to the interwebs.
My heart isn’t in each post anymore. My heart is in living the life that I’ve made for myself.
And yet, leaving and not writing here anymore would be like a breakup. A heartbreaker.
It would hurt me not to have the connections I’ve made here on a daily basis anymore. I would truly miss it and miss all of you and your comments and support. I’d probably come crawling back within days.
So, clearly, the solution probably isn’t to stop blogging all together, but I feel like I need to make some sort of a change.
I guess I’m having some sort of blogger’s mid-life existential crisis, and since I’ve always been of the full disclosure mentality, I couldn’t hide that from you guys.
There’s no neat way to wrap this up, other than to say thanks for listening and that I’ll keep you posted. I don’t expect anything to change right away, as I’m still working it out in my mind, and I’m definitely open to any suggestions you may have.
Fantasy Footballers – have you had your drafts yet? What was your main strategy?
Bloggers – ever had an existential blogging crisis? What did you do?
Isn’t the easy solution just to blog when you feel like it and not blog when you don’t? Also it’s more luck than strategy, but Aaron Rodgers is a fantasy stud and has almost single-handedly guided my team to the playoffs the last couple years. Sadly he had to sit out the final game last year and it cost me any chance of sneaking in.
Aaron Rogers can suck it. GO BEARS!
Wooo! GO BEARS! (although I had Aaron Rodgers on my team last year, too- haha)
That’s okay- the Hubby and I were discussing “top 4 teams” that will make it to Super Bowl this year and his #4 choice was GB. I could have killed him. That’s okay- he’s in for a surprise when I wear my OSU gear to every OU game this year. He he he
Please don’t do that. A little piece of me will die, which will make it a lot harder to sprout rainbows and sunshine out of my ass like I promised you.
BAHAHAHAHAHA!
I have a draft tomorrow night- I really have no strategy except to hopefully grab Aaron Rodgers. I had him last year and he rocked my team! I really should get on to researching and whatnot but I am too distracted.
I go through blogging things all of the time- I usually just stop posting for awhile and then the urge comes back. I don’t hold myself to any schedule which is why I enjoy doing it- it isn’t the best strategy for readership/numbers/whatever but that’s not what I’m doing it for so I don’t mind
I hope you figure it out soon!
What about Payton Manning? He’s way better than Rogers.
I have my draft tonight, I have done 0 research. Should be interesting. I feel ya on the blogging front. I’ve recently considered stopping posting every day, and only posting when I have something really good to say, because I know I would miss it if I quite completely.
I keep considering taking it back to only 3 or 4 posts a week instead of 6. Sometimes I feel like what I’m throwing out there isn’t 100% good stuff that I want to be writing and I’m just posting to post. It’s a neverending conflict.
I will still love you regardless.
You could always just start posting every other day, or a couple times a week or something like that. Even just take a week off. You might find that the little break is all you need. Or you might decide you dont need the blog anymore (which I hope isnt what happens).
I say you write when you want to. My friend writes to her blog like once a week or sometimes even once a month. I purposely will continue spelling Rogers wrong BTW b/c he is JUST WRONG! Peeps need to get off the green and gold train.
I’m organizing a draft for my office for early next week- I think things are going to get pretty intense around here. I think you should just post when you feel like it. I started feeling like that a while back, too, and now I just post when I can/want to. If you’re not out there living your life you won’t have good material to write about anyway!
I’ve never done fantasy football! Good luck to your team tho : )
I say you blog when and what you want. I made that a rule when I created mine and it’s been great. I don’t feel the pressure to post or comment more if I don’t place those demands on myself, ya know! Maybe take a break for a week or so and see how it feels but ultimately do what you want!
Katie : )
Live your life girl
Your blog/community will be here for you when you want to devote the time to it, but don’t feel tied to it or like it will collapse if you take a break. I have a hard time with that too, but I’ve realized that some of my favorite blogs only post a few times a week/once a week and I still read each one.
And I had one draft already that sucked a huge shlong as I’ve been dealt the horrific hand of Romo as my QB since I got screwed and had to auto-draft.
Next one will hopefully be much better..
Jess, I feel for you. I feel for you. The only thing that could be worse is if you ended up with the likes of Tebow (or Rogers, but at least he knows how to throw a ball- I hate him b/c of his Green Bay association and I’m a big time Bears fan). I also love everything football and feel the need to have talks about it with you wonderful peeps b/c no one understands my love for it. Well, maybe Low does, but she’s more college-ish.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure Romo and Tebow are the exact same douche. Only one accidentally got good somehow.
Do you what you gotta do…live your life and everything will fall into place!
I would be so sad if you stopped blogging!!! Don’t do it!!!!
Ok…selfish time over.
Right on for achieving your goals, Kacy:) I think the answer will come with time now that the question is out there in the open, ya know?
Alls I’m sayin is that you better promise me we’ll still be friends if you stop blogging!!!
But you gotta do what’s best for you hun, even if that means cutting back, taking a break or leaving all together. *sigh* if that last one is the decision though I’m not going to lie in saying that I’m going to desperately miss your relatable outlook on life and true-to-life posts each day!! 
I think you should write when you feel like writing and don’t when you don’t feel like it. You don’t have to have a regular schedule with it.
I know absolutely nothing about football. Nothing.
I went through this and I guess thats why I don’t really blog that much anymore. I am not someone who likes to take a lot of pictures because I like to enjoy what I am doing and actually take the experience in. And thats what people like to see is pictures (I do when I am reading a blog). I don’t have a lot of time to put into my blog, I work full time and have two kiddos and trying to keep up with exercising. I give huge props to people who do put so much detication into their blogs but something was missing from my end. I guess when I started, I thought I could connect and help others out there try to lead a healthy life style…I loved the connection part…but I also didn’t think that I was doing anything different than all the wonderful bloggers out there (and there is a ton!).
I haven’t been able to comment on your posts lately … I re-followed you, and hope that works. I am sorry to hear that you are having second thoughts about blogging, and that your heard isn’t in it anymore. I would DEFINITELY miss you and your posts if you stopped blogging.
I haven’t had an existential blogging crisis, but sometimes when I get busy I feel like a crappy blogger.