I hate feeling stupid.
We all do, I’m sure.
Unfortunately, I possess a certain set of characteristics that result in the feeling of stupid more often than I would like.
For instance, I’m not a good driver. I’m not a terrible driver, and I’m getting better, but I do have a propensity to run into inanimate objects.
It hasn’t happened in awhile, but there are little bruises all over my car that remind me of my shortcomings.
It pisses me off.
Another thing that gets me into trouble is that I’m not very observant.
I’m in my head all the time and thinking about a million different things at once, which often results in me doing stupid little things like running into doors or spilling things on myself.
Most of the time, I just laugh it off.
I mean, in many other ways, I’m quite intelligent. I’m good at thinking smart things, and saying smart things – just not so great at DOING smart things.
Whatever, two out of three ain’t bad.
Regardless, I’m the only one who is allowed to make fun of these things I do – in the same way that I’m the only one who is allowed to make fun of my friends or family. If you do it, I will cut you.
Because these are sore subjects for me, and you never know how I’m going to take it.
Sometimes, when I’m in a particularly jovial mood, a little jab at my driving skills will result in outward laugher and inward tears (it always embarrasses me, human nature). But other times, if I’m not in the correct mental space, I will unleash a full-blown hate storm on my verbal assailant. Even if it was a joke, and even if you think it was REALLY funny.
Another thing that really just inflames me, is pointing out the obvious.
Let me paint you a mental picture.
I’m sitting at a table and take a sip of a liquid substance.
Upon trying to accomplish this, I spill said substance all over my person.
Someone then points out, “Hey, you spilled that all over yourself.”
Um, no shit. I did not need your commentary.
So, to be safe: Don’t make fun of how I drive, or how I can’t drink water and walk at the same time – then we’ll all still be friends.
Oh man, the number of times I think or say “I don’t need your commentary” every week is absolutely amazing.
I’m the worlds worst driver. Actually, not true, I can drive I just hate doing it. So, most friends have taken it upon themselves to constantly point out that I never offer to drive anywhere as if I’m not already aware of the ridiculousness that is my lack of driving…
He he he, driving, he he he.
He he he, spilling, he he he.
At least you didn’t trip over the flat carpeting in your office today and lost your shit in the process. In front of the whole team. Yep.
Hahahahahaha. I get to laugh at you because I know you would do the same. <3
Everyone has that one off-limits topic that NO ONE is allowed to mock, family excluded of course (we are all protective of that). I have two: 1, my job, which I OBVIOUSLY keep a great secret (but jabs in college about majoring in “macaroni art 101, and did I pass the not-gluing-my-fingers-together final exam” brought out a wrath no one had ever seen before). 2) my spine. Any other health issues are fair game for some reason, probably because no one is that dickish to make fun of a malfunctioning colon, and yeah the “Kace has no large intestine thing” is fair game cause it is funny. But make fun of my crooked spine, which I had to wear a back brace for for a YEAR, when I was 16, and I will straight up murder. Maybe I’m so sensitve because my dad was one of the worst offenders? Case in point – at a minor league baseball game, he suggested I “stand sideways in case a foul ball came out and could knock my back into alignment.” I love my father more than life itself but I will resent that comment till the day I die.
Sorry for comment-bombing. But that felt good to get out.
Oh, the major thing/job thing is pretty big for me too. I used to get comments about it from my family all the time until they ganged up on me in Vegas and I cried in front of everyone. Nothing shuts them up like public displays of emotion.
I get pissed off at myself for being so clumsy too. I can’t make it through a day without getting some sort of food on my clothes and I always have bruises on my legs from running in things, particularly desks at school and coffee tables. I’d probably have bruises all over my car too, if I had one.
There’s a reason I rarely wear white, and when I do I always wear a sweater on top. I spill everything. I’ve spilled my water all over my desk so many times I had to move the tower part of my computer (yah, I use the technical terms) to the very far corner under my desk so it would be safe.
Also, I say ridiculously dumb things all the time. Sometimes it’s actually pretty incredible. Once at work I phoned my own office and got SO confused when my boss picked up. But its the same as you, I’m so lost in my own mind that I don’t always realize what I’m saying or what’s going on around me. A boy I dated once told me it was just because my mind goes a million miles a minute and my mouth can’t keep up.
Honestly, I think traits like that just make us better. It keeps things entertaining, and I’d rather be flawed than perfect. Perfect people suck.
My driving confidence level is about a zero…so I pretty much lash out when people (my husband) points out driving errors. So, I definitely won’t point out yours.
I often reply to something like that with “no shit. that’s all you can come up with?”
Because pointing out the obvious just seems redundant.
I’m not very observant either. When I was single, my friends would always be like, “That guy is looking at you.” and of course, I would be like, “What guy? I don’t see anyone.”
Haha, I do the same thing. I never spotted cute guys in bars or noticed if they were flirting.
I hate looking stupid. What I hate more though, is anticipating with fear of looking stupid. It prevents me from doing so many things that I want to do. Isn’t that the most awful self-limiting stupidity there is?
Funny how people are eager to point out spill stains and chose not to mention when someone has a bit of salad stuck to their teeth, ugh….
Like last night when a certain someone proceeded to make fun of my outfit choice? WRATH.
Who are these offenders of yours?? Don’t MAKE me drive to DC and lay down the law… oh I’ll do it….
Dude, I swear my cups have holes in them, because I spill water on myself allll the time. Shane makes fun of me so bad for it, lol. It happens with beer, too, but that’s another story.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken a sip of water and completely missed my mouth. I think it happens because our brains are too busy doing other brilliant stuff to concentrate on mundane things like connecting glass to mouth. Pshhh ; )
Hehe, I think I am the least observant person on the planet. I don’t even know what colour my neighbors house is or what kind of vehicle they drive and I have lived next door to them for years.