I learned a valuable lesson yesterday.
Insomniacs should never eat chocolate covered espresso beans.
Additionally, if you open a tin of chocolate covered espresso beans and a half dozen of them fall on the floor – you shouldn’t observe the five second rule and eat them anyways.
This is all to say that I didn’t sleep last night, so the probability of this post being at all coherent is low.
Anyway, I thought I’d write a little bit about the wedding planning process thus far, from my usual slightly neurotic perspective.
Most of you know that this is not the first wedding that I’ve planned. In 2007, I planned almost an entire wedding (everything but the invitations, which I thankfully never ordered or sent out).
At the time, it seemed really easy. Now that I look back on it, that was probably because no one really thought the wedding was going to happen and didn’t really feel the need to get too involved.
This time around, I’ve snagged a good guy. And I’m older (and everyone is still holding out false hope that me getting married means I’m going to produce offspring) so I that is causing people to take it more seriously.
And by taking it seriously, I mean getting very involved. And you know what? That’s fine. I like hearing what people think I should do, because honestly the only thing that matters to me is that people have a good time, that the food and alcohol is plentiful and tasty and that I get to marry someone I love.
(Okay, and that I look the hottest I’ve ever looked. There’s got to be a tad bit of selfishness and vanity in there somewhere.)
The last time, I was trying to prove to everyone that I was okay after everything that had gone on with my family, so I felt the wedding needed to be a lot more impressive and important.
This time I don’t really need any validation, so I’m much less worried about the end result. Other than the getting married part.
Marriage > the wedding
As far as why someone who previously claimed to have serious commitment issues and doesn’t want kids is so excited to get married, well I don’t really have a clear cut answer to that besides the fact that it’s just what I want with Tom, because he’s the best. And if I want it, and he wants it, then it makes enough sense to me.
It still feels like it’s going to cost a million dollars just to get 100 of our friends and family together and celebrate, but I am doing whatever I can to keep the costs to a reasonable amount so that we can enjoy our post wedding lives to the fullest and not have mountains of debt to deal with.
I’m even wearing the wedding dress I bought for the last go ’round (if I can fit into it). I get mixed reviews on whether this is “bad juju” or not, but I picked the dress because I loved it – not for my ex. Plus, why would I buy another expensive dress when I already have one at the ready?
So with all my calm, rational feelings about this wedding not having to be the end all be all of weddings, you’d think there would be no cause for stress, right?
Well, not really. Because when there are a lot of people involved, there are a lot of people to make happy. And I don’t mean that these people think that they should get their way or that they make the wedding all about them. I just mean that everyone has an opinion, and in my warped mind I feel like I have to make every opinion come to fruition or I’ll be a bad bride.
People always say that it’s the one day to do whatever YOU want, but what I want is honestly for everyone to be happy and have a good time. Beyond that I really don’t care if the bridesmaids dresses all match (they get to pick their own) or if doves fly at the end or any of that other stuff.
Aside from having someone check my wedding dress five times to make sure no spiders are hiding in the tulle (I have already had nightmares about this happening), I don’t really plan to get very diva about the whole process.
What I will freak out about is if anyone is bored, or the food sucks, or someone doesn’t get invited that should have (because we can’t afford to invite the whole world).
I’m a pathetic doormat. I know this.
Luckily, I’ve found a loophole to avoid nervous breakdowns.
Turns out, Tom is very good at wedding planning. His logical nature and pleasant phone voice are working wonders.
We make all of the decisions together, but he’s the front man. He’s actually the one who has been in touch with the event coordinator at the venue we chose. I haven’t even spoken with her.
Know what that means? If anyone gets mad at me, I can just blame him!
We’ve been engaged less than a month but have already settled on a date, picked a venue (for the ceremony and reception, same place), picked our colors, set up hotels blocks for guests and created a budget.
Tom has done most of the heavy lifting. I mainly just man the lists and the correspondence with my side of the family and he makes the important phone calls and keeps me from freaking out too much.
Like I said, I snagged a good guy this time.
Bottom line: I’m actually getting married, everyone will be well fed and happy, and I will look amazing.
And if someone doesn’t have fun, it’s not my fault.
Unless everyone has a blast, in which case I did everything and you’re welcome.