Tag Archives: stories

wrong number

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15

So it turns out today is my Friday. My boss asked me to take the next two days off in case I need to work this weekend, but I won’t know about that until Friday. So I might get a four day weekend, or just have a really weird work schedule.

Kind of weird, but whatever. I’ll take two random days off to be productive. Or to re-watch all four seasons of Mad Men. It could go either way.

So, because of all that, I had to reschedule an appointment to get my car serviced from Saturday to Thursday. A funny story ensued. Cue reenactment:

Me: (looks up car dealership website to find phone number, dials number on phone)

Phone operator: (very loudly) Hi, we have lots of horny girls ready for you to talk to, for—-

Me: (hangs up frantically, looks around the room horrified, meets the stare of many curious coworkers) Ummm, did you guys hear that?

Coworkers: Um, yes.

Me: (laughs awkwardly) Hahaha, clearly I dialed the wrong number! Woopsie…. Um, I’m totally, er, I didn’t, I mean I wouldn’t. (hangs head in shame)

Coworkers: (blank stares… crickets… internal thoughts… turn to computers to check and see if I’m a registered sex offender)

So yeah… that happened.

It takes a lot to embarrass me, but I must say I was pretty mortified. It may take awhile to recover.

I did however, get the car appointment rescheduled afterward. So there’s that.

Not sure if it was worth it though.

What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you at work?

back to school?

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26

It has come to my attention recently that I need a refresher course in Geography.

[source]

I took the class in 8th grade and passed with flying colors, but somewhere between then and now I seem to have lost all knowledge for our nation’s cartography.

It all started when we were talking about the East coast at work and someone mentioned Maryland, and I pointed to a map and asked “it’s that pink squiggly one, right?”

Apparently, that was funny. I was serious though. Those East coast states are confusing, man. They’re all small and bunched together. I really can’t keep them all straight.

This lead to my entire office playing this game.

I actually did better than the majority of people, but I am still known as the girl that sucks at geography at work.

I was a little upset about this, until just now… when my SIL caught a little mistake of me thinking Chicago is West of the Mississippi River.

Perhaps I should enroll back into junior high.

If you had to go back to school right now, which subject(s) would you fail? In addition to Geography, I would get owned by junior high math. No question.

Incoming search terms:

Up. Down. Hot.

Posted on by
15

Well, I’ve had a lovely morning so far.

The power went out in most of my building last night. The downside? I had no air conditioning. The upside? I had electricity, so I could at least watch TV.

I managed fairly well without the a/c. I just got naked and kept a fan near me at all times.

Unfortunately, the power in the building was not restored by the time I woke up this morning. So… that meant they only had one elevator running on a generator. The downside? Waiting 15 minutes for it to arrive in a non-air-conditioned hallway and then squeezing into a literal hot box with 30 strangers. The upside? All that sweating must have been good detoxification. Like a mini sauna.

After a very long elevator ride, where we stopped on each floor to pack more people into the sardine can, I arrived at my car… only to find I didn’t have my car key.

I had two options. Wait for the elevator again and repeat the process outlined above, or go for the stairs.

So… I climbed up 12 flights of stairs in a non air-conditioned stairwell in heels.  The downside? I thought I was going to die. I hadn’t eaten or had any water yet. I was overheated, stressed because I was late for work and pissed off that I’d spent 20 minutes blow drying my hair only to have it stick to my head in a less attractive manner than if I had run a half marathon. The upside? I feel a lot better about my decision to skip the gym this morning. Also, I’m glad I only live 12 flights up. Any more would have been slightly unreasonable.

So, that’s how I kicked off this beautiful Friday. Aren’t things like that are supposed to happen on Mondays? I’m not impressed.

I know I shouldn’t complain though. It’s hot everywhere and I just had one bad incident. There are people that have to work in the heat every day, or worse, live outside in it. I know I’m lucky.

But I still felt compelled to share that lovely story.

Before all that, I had planned to do a whole post about how I actually cooked last night and it was awesome and prove to you that my asparagus really was purple, but that ship has sailed. So I’ll just show you the pictures and depart for now.

See? Purple. See? Dinner. Oooh. Aaaah.

Now I need to drink another gallon of water and complain about my morning to anyone who’ll listen.

Happy Friday!